Friday, May 02, 2025
Love, God and societal expectations
There are times when God puts two (2) person together which defies logic and challenges societal norms. Is it an accidental meet or is it part of something divinely bigger? What if it isn’t an accident?
People always assume that a love connection must fit a preordained structure, certain traditions, a certain way of meeting and a limited age-gap that are deemed acceptable. But genuine love has never been bounded by such things. A genuine relationship is not dictated by a checklist, nor is it dictated by rigid expectations and societal conventions. Rather it is the recognition of another soul; someone who challenges, elevates and transforms you.
How often the moment a relationship falls outside a prescribed mold, whether it is an age-gap, different background, many feel compelled to judge, even family members. They apply their own fears, bias and limitations onto something they barely understand. They see the world as they are, not as it is. They may not have even met the person their son or daughter is dating!
But the real question is this! Do external perceptions define the truth of a relationship, or the meaning embedded within the relationship that God brought together which transcends those artificial boundaries? If God brings two (2) person together despite the age difference it is not a rebellion against the norm, rather it is acknowledgment that a “special destiny” have been installed for them to be together. Something deeper exist beyond the surface.
In a world where relationships are fleeting and built on transactional convenience, finding someone REAL, something profound is RARE. It is divinely exceptional, not the rule. It doesn’t mean every unconventional relationship is good or destined to succeed. Yes love must be tempered with wisdom, tested, examined and understood. But to dismiss it, run away from it because it doesn’t fit a socially constructed mold is to ignore the very essence of human existence. Often the easiest path when faced with such a situation, is to bow to external pressure, to give in to the judgment of the collective.
To let the fear of judgment from friends and family, or the whispers of doubt, is a very passive way of living, it is not living deliberately. A better way is to ask does this relationship challenge you and bring out the best in both parties. Does it encourage growth, wisdom and responsibility? Is there authenticity and sincerity? If the answer is YES then the opinions of others carry little weight.
Love is not about comfort. It is not about the easiest path. It’s about transformation and journey together into the shared destiny God had prepared for the pair. It causes you to be honest to your heart, to shift your paradigm, to confront your flaws, to step up and evolve into the best version God had meant you to be. It is a calling from God which demands maturity and growth.
It is not about whether society or parental approval. The question is are you brave enough to accept it yourself and be willing to step into the responsibility that comes with a love relationship? Because when love is real it is not by chance. It has to be chosen! It has to be fought and resisted against all criticisms. Love is not a fleeting emotion nor an accident. It is the unfolding of something deeper; that despite the age difference or circumstances there is something irreplaceable in each other. This is no small thing. I will never find what I love in a person in another.
This is where things go wrong, where doubt creeps in because we are conditioned or told that love must be in some predefined structure, age gap and similar background. When it does not conform to the expectations of others, fear and doubt set in. The fear of judgment, the fear of offending our parents.
Yet you see the greatest transformation in life does not usually come from doing what is the norm, what is safe, or what was conventional. None came from staying within boundaries and what others deemed as the norm.
Growth is often uncomfortable. But true love is one of the most powerful transformational force that exist. It does not check your resume or ask for your birth certificate. It comes unexpectedly. It will just simply arrive and you have to make a decision. Will you embrace it with all the challenges it brings, or push it away because it doesn’t fit the mold? This is not to say every unconventional relationship is a bliss, but to dismiss something solely because it defies expectations of others is to reject the possibility of something extraordinary.
Meet love when it truly comes with discernment and courage. Love is not given even when God allows it. It has to be chosen. Will you choose it or let fear choose for you? Will you sacrifice something extraordinary at the altar of approval?
If a connection is genuine and rooted in truth with an undeniable pull to be together, then why should the opinions of others determine its worth? Why should societal norms which are often arbitrary dictate something as profound as love? The masses aren’t a good arbitrator of truth; it seeks conformity not wisdom. It reward the predictable, not the exceptional.
Life is about living what is true, not what is simply accepted by the crowd. Do you have the fortitude to live what is real? If the connection is real then defend it, despite the discomfort it may cause. Even if God meant it to be, there will still be struggles and barriers. Real love wasn’t meant to be easy. But it is meant to be transformative and if you turn away from something real simply because of societal expectations, you may find yourself not only without love, but without the courage to truly live.
The greatest tragedy is not love lost, but love abandoned because of fear.
