Victor Chen Ministries

As I look back on the distancing, the silence, that one cold response, and finally the ghosting, I gained many insights. Avoidance isn’t strength. It’s all fear in disguise. 

When a connection becomes real, intimacy may trigger insecurities in the person especially if he/she hasn’t healed from the past – be it past relationship or childhood. They are conditioned that connection is risky, that love equals to pain, that opening up leads to rejection, so they build walls, even thick walls.  And when someone warm, someone real comes along, they may desire the connection so they seemingly accept you but with fear. So what if they reciprocate and say they like you, are sincere, and will take care of you. You offer stability of a relationship but they are wired for defense.  

But when things start to get real, they don’t lean in, but run. They tell themselves they are being strong, that creating space is maturity, but what they are really doing is really retreating into emotional safety. They are not stepping into growth. True strength is to be able to be honest even when it is uncomfortable. It is being able to sit down and say to you “it is not working for me and here is why!”.It is able to exit a relationship without destroying the other person’s sense of closure and worth. Real strength comes from communicating instead of shutting down. They ghost to avoid confrontation. They detach to avoid being hurt but in doing so they rob themselves of healing, connection and inner transformation. 

On reflection the cold moment from her was not running away from me but from the vulnerability she was not prepared to face. But one can never run away from true emotions forever. That decision, that act of disappearance may feel like control at the moment, but over time it turns into missed opportunity to level up and growth. 

What you suppress often comes back louder. What you don’t heal gets carried into the next relationship. So when you see them pulling away and gives you nothing but silence, don’t mistake that for strength, maturity, or stoicism. I now recognize it for what it is-fear dressed up as strength.

Godly strength

Real strength is showing up for the hard conversation, staying in the presence of uncertainty, choosing to be uncomfortable in the name of growth. That’s what I was willing to do, but she ran. She ran from someone who was willing to love them through her fears, someone who would have stood by her if she just had the courage to stay.

Godly strength is  to remain open, honest and brave even when they weren’t. In a world where many wear a mask and many relationships are just surface level, I look for the inner side of a person, the inner beauty, to love also her broken pieces and see her for what she can be (not what she is).  I have seen through all her armor and defense, and even heard what she was not saying. Perhaps I was a mirror who reflected a lot of her insecurities. Instead of being a catalyst for their growth, sadly some may distance and run.  Maybe I can be too real. Real love that sees you fully terrifies avoidants.

Regret cannot undo avoidance. Fear doesn’t disappear when you distance yourself. Unless you chose courage you just suppress everything without growth, and be remembered for not someone who had the strength to run away but someone who was not brave enough to stay, and to evolve. Walking away doesn’t make you stronger. In fact it is quite the opposite.  

There is a narrative that leaving is power, that ghosting means you are protecting your peace and that shutting down is setting boundaries. But none of that is real growth. Growth does not happen in isolation. It happens in the hard messy vulnerable conversations. The truth is she didn’t level up, but checked out.

Avoidant people often live by the idea that if something feels threatening they should run; if it feels emotionally intense they must back off; and if it challenges them they need to disconnect. They have trained themselves to associate closeness with danger, so the moment something becomes real, whether it is intimacy, conflict or accountability, they hit the EJECT button. And at that moment they may feel in control and may even think it is protecting you and her.  But what they don’t realize is that by leaving  they aren’t just avoiding pain, but her avoiding inner transformation and God’s unfolding of the business journey that He has carefully planned for us together. So many opportunities has opened up since she left. 

Staying is what leads to growth. Growth is staying when it is hard. It is learning to communicate instead of stonewall. It is showing up when the instinct is to hide. Even though it scares me but I want to do better than just hide. That is maturity, That is healing from your fears. Not running away from our God-given destiny.

But sometimes your avoidant partner may not choose that path but instead choose the shortcut. They choose the door instead of the mirror. While this might give them temporary relief from their internal demons, it will cost them in the long term. The opportunity to evolve, transform and heal comes in the staying.  It happens with working through it together during the uncomfortable moments.

Open communication is paramount

What is so difficult to tell the person who loves you what is going on and what you need instead of ghosting? It is a safe space to practice an honest open communication and to practice that kind of growth. Communication is the cornerstone of any relationship.

None of us demand perfection from our partners. I just asked for effort, to try,  and she could not even give that. In future she may be in someone else’s arms, in a new relationship, but she missed a chance to be better. Old patterns and behaviors remain if there is no healing or growth, even when in new relationships.

A good man will often be a mirror. The mirror will reflect on somethings that are uncomfortable. There may reflect on some growth needed and accountability. I won’t settle for surface level love. Instead of stepping up, she stepped away. That wasn’t strength. That wasn’t growth. That was avoidance!

Life is full of endless possibilities and probabilities, and destiny has made its turn. Looking back the nostalgia is the vision of what she could have been, the version of her that I believed in, the version of her that I tried to reach out to,  but she didn’t rise up to meet the moment. 

Fear never leads to freedom. Ghosting is not power. Disappearing instead of communicating is not a flex. Peace doesn’t come from running away. It comes from resolution and ghosting leaves everything unresolved, unanswered. 

Ghosting doesn’t give you power. Real power is in growth, and growth takes courage, to be strong to stay and to speak when your throat is tight with emotions, to listen when every part of you wants to shut down and run. That’s the work they weren’t not prepared to do. She wasn’t not prepared to evolve, to face the part of themselves you reflected back to them because you weren’t not just asking for their love but also their presence. And presence comes with emotional maturity. She didn’t have it. Instead of growing up she chose to vanish, pushing away someone who wanted to love them well. I wasn't asking for too much, but a relationship built on honesty, consistency and emotional depth.

# posted by Eleventh Hour @ 10:54 PM 0 comments

There are times when God puts two (2) person together which defies logic and challenges societal norms. Is it an accidental meet or is it part of something divinely bigger? What if it isn’t an accident?

People always assume that a love connection must fit a preordained structure, certain traditions, a certain way of meeting and a limited age-gap that are deemed acceptable. But genuine love has never been bounded by such things. A genuine relationship is not dictated by a checklist, nor is it dictated by rigid expectations and societal conventions.  Rather it is the recognition of another soul; someone who challenges, elevates and transforms you.

How often the moment a relationship falls outside a prescribed mold, whether it is an age-gap, different background,  many feel compelled to judge, even family members. They apply their own fears, bias and limitations onto something they barely understand. They see the world as they are, not as it is. They may not have even met the person their son or daughter is dating!

But the real question is this! Do external perceptions define the truth of a relationship, or the meaning embedded within the relationship that God brought together which transcends those artificial boundaries? If God brings two (2) person together despite the age difference it is not a rebellion against the norm, rather it is acknowledgment that a “special destiny” have been installed for them to be together. Something deeper exist beyond the surface.

In a world where relationships are fleeting and built on transactional  convenience, finding someone REAL, something profound is RARE. It is divinely exceptional, not the rule. It doesn’t mean every unconventional relationship is good or destined to succeed. Yes love must be tempered with wisdom, tested, examined and understood. But to dismiss it, run away from it because it doesn’t fit a socially constructed mold is to ignore the very essence of human existence. Often the easiest path when faced with such a situation, is to bow to external pressure, to give in to the judgment of the collective. 

To let the fear of judgment from friends and family, or the whispers of doubt, is a very passive way of living, it is not living deliberately.  A better way is to ask does this relationship challenge you and bring out the best in both parties. Does it encourage growth, wisdom and responsibility? Is there authenticity and sincerity? If the answer is YES then the opinions of others carry little weight.

Love is not about comfort. It is not about the easiest path. It’s about transformation and journey  together into the shared destiny God had prepared for the pair. It causes you to be honest to your heart, to shift your paradigm, to confront your flaws, to step up and evolve into the best version God had meant you to be.  It is a calling from God which demands maturity and growth.

It is not about whether society or parental approval. The question is are you brave enough to accept it yourself and be willing to step into the responsibility that comes with a love relationship? Because when love is real it is not by chance. It has to be chosen! It has to be fought and resisted against all criticisms. Love is not a fleeting emotion nor an accident. It is the unfolding of something deeper; that despite the age difference or circumstances there is something irreplaceable in each other. This is no small thing. I will never find what I love in a person in another.

This is where things go wrong, where doubt creeps in because we are conditioned or told that love must be in some predefined structure, age gap and similar background. When it does not conform to the expectations of others, fear and doubt set in.  The fear of judgment, the fear of offending our parents.

Yet you see the greatest transformation in life does not usually come from doing what is the norm, what is safe, or what was conventional. None came from staying within boundaries and what others deemed as the norm.

Growth is often uncomfortable. But true love is one of the most powerful transformational force that exist. It does not check your resume or ask for your birth certificate. It comes unexpectedly. It will just simply arrive and you have to make a decision.  Will you embrace it with all the challenges it brings, or push it away because it doesn’t fit the mold? This is not to say every unconventional relationship is a bliss, but to dismiss something solely because it defies expectations of others is to reject the possibility of something extraordinary.

Meet love when it truly comes with discernment and courage. Love is not given even when God allows it. It has to be chosen. Will you choose it or let fear choose for you? Will you sacrifice something extraordinary at the altar of approval?

If a connection is genuine and rooted in truth with an undeniable pull to be together, then why should the opinions of others determine its worth? Why should societal norms which are often arbitrary dictate something as profound as love?  The masses aren’t a good arbitrator of truth; it seeks conformity not wisdom. It reward the predictable, not the exceptional.

Life is about living what is true, not what is simply accepted by the crowd.  Do you have the fortitude to live what is real? If the connection is real then defend it, despite the discomfort it may cause. Even if God meant it to be, there will still be struggles and barriers. Real love wasn’t meant to be easy. But it is meant to be transformative and if you turn away from something real simply because of societal expectations, you may find yourself not only without love, but without the courage to truly live.

The greatest tragedy is not love lost, but love abandoned because of fear.

# posted by Eleventh Hour @ 9:10 PM 0 comments

There comes a time when life just doesn’t wound you, IT SHAKES YOU BADLY!. It steals your breath, rattles your  peace and breaks something deep inside you that words cannot quite encompass -  a betrayal; a bitter disappointment; or a loss  that shattered my heart. I have been through so much O Lord. When will it all end? I reflect on how I smiled in banquet halls while my heart bled in silence. I carried burdens that some can never lift.

But healing doesn't need an applause to begin. Our deepest pain is often unannounced. We endure it in silence. In solitude I held back the tears, and numb every pain. It all hurt me badly deep inside. But God sees it all. The disappointments I kept to myself, the pain that never made it to my eyes because I kept masking the hurts.  But Heaven has kept a receipt  of it all; every tear I didn’t cry out loud, every ache I didn’t speak out, has been recorded in the heart of God. He hasn’t forgotten my darkest moments, not a single bit.  He hears the silence of my soul louder than a thousand cries. He reads me like an open book even when I walked through fire with a fake smile. My suffering didn’t go unnoticed. He felt it the moment my heart broke. My tears carried prayers that my mouth was to paralyzed by anguish to utter. He responds to my spirit, He responds to my faith, He just needs me to surrender. He has responded to my prayers when the acidity of the intense pain made me too mute to pray.

God wants your heart

God doesn’t need me to verbalise my pain to heal me. He just needs my heart, but it must be pure and sincere. Even when I am too anaesthetised by disappointments to speak, too overwhelmed to hope, God hears me. My heart is speaking to Him even when my lips don’t and He is surely listening.  He is not looking for poetic verses, He just wants my heart to embrace His love - Spirit to spirit. God reads hearts rather than well-rehearsed prayers. Just come to Him as you are; broken, hurting, and confused. His love remains the same, even when you are too exhausted to pray, too numb to hope. He has kept a record of your unspoken prayers.

God sees the storms behind my eyes.  God reads my heart. He knows the difference between someone who says a hundred prayers with no faith, and someone who says nothing at all but believes He is still listening, still caring. When I whisper “God I am tired”, that is  a prayer. That moment I sighed and looked at the ceiling, that was a prayer! That silent scream! In the car when my thoughts were louder than the radio. The sleepless nights in bed wondering if God still has a plan for me! Those were prayers, and He has recorded them all.

Even when I don’t know how to put it into words, God heard me. He says my pain is valid and not unnoticed. He is not limited to language. He doesn’t need a translator for my soul. He felt my silent pain louder than a thousand cries. He responded even when I felt He was distant, or nowhere to be seen. Even when the silence from heaven mirrored the silence in my own soul, He was working. He is a healer in the quiet.  He is not upset when you are hurting or weak. In fact it is in my weakness His strength shows up the most. It is in my silence when His voice becomes the clearest. It is in my hidden tears that He does the deepest work. I have suffered in silence but healing is coming and soon the joy is coming publicly. The tears I cry in private is being answered. It is not in vain.

God’s silence

I have been through so many ups and downs in my journey- countless disappointments and setbacks. Lord when will you settle me? God may seem silent when we are hurting. But this silence is sacred. It is preparation for something of the magnitude of what is about to break open in my life. He moves things in your favour without announcing it to the world. What you do in this silence determines how prepared you will be when the shift comes. God is stretching your endurance, He is enlarging my capacity and teaching me to depend on Him, not on what I feel or what I see. We cannot hear or see God’s plan for us by using the flesh but by the spirit. He wants your spirit to know His voice intimately so that when He speaks again you know it with clarity and conviction.  Don’t despise the waiting, don’t curse the process.

He is building something in my life. He is writing a story that will not only bless me but to bless my generation. You have to believe something is moving in the spirit to favour you.  Something is shifting in the spirit. Something is moving on your behalf.  So breathe easy, rest and stand firm. Don’t let the stillness convince that you are stucked in a pit. I am not stucked, I am being  stationed. I am being positioned.  Once God comes through for me it will all make sense. I will know why the doors had to be shut a little longer, and why some people walked away, and how God used the delay to stretch me.

When God shows up He will do it in a way that will silence every lie, every critic and every doubt that tried to break me. So hold on. When He shifts the situation, the whole world will know He never left me. He was just getting everything ready for me. I am glad I held on at many juncture in my life. So keep walking, keep believing. God’s answer will be greater than your pain.

What others now see in you

My family and close friends have seen the setbacks I have been through. Yet I am still standing, still here and believing that something great will come from all this.  I am sure in the economy of God’s wisdom, He does not waste the “pain” I went through. He sees every tear that never fell, He hears every scream that I never released.  We live in a world that tries to downplay suffering.  People tell me to move on, get over it, toughen up. But God doesn’t do that! He meets me at the middle of my pain. He walks with me in my valley and sits with me in my darkest nights, and begins my healing.

He is not going to change my struggles as they are meant to build me, nor will He rush my healing. Healing cannot be rushed, as it’s not putting a band-aid to numb my sore, but to correct what is flawed inside me. Inner healing and transformation is a process that requires time. Everything works for the good of those who loves Him (Romans 8:28). So every ounce of struggle He allows me to go through has a purpose beyond what I can imagine. The very thing that tried to break you, God will use to bless you. He takes what hurt you to elevate you. He takes what is broken and makes it beautiful. While you are weeping, God is already working on your behalf. While you are asking “how”, God already has a plan. He doesn’t just want to fix your situation, He wants to transform it. And often that transformation begins in our hearts.

Pain has a way of opening up our hearts that nothing else can. It humbles us, it refines us. It strips away our pride, our comfort and illusions and draws us closer to the One that can actually save us.  When God answers it will be more than enough and He answers not just according to the measure of your pain but out of the abundance of His love,

People are now not seeing what I lost, but what God has rebuilt and is rebuilding. They are seeing a different version of me.  Trust the process. It’s worth every silent tear. Pain doesn’t have the final say. God’s word does. His word is restoration, healing, victory and a glorious destiny. His blessings will surpass every dark season I have endured.

# posted by Eleventh Hour @ 4:13 PM 0 comments

I graduated from medical school in 1994. I worked nearly two (2) years in the hospitals in Perth before returning to Malaysia.  I then joined the pharmaceutical industry in various positions.

I learned a lot about vitamins and supplements as the first company I worked for, Abbott Laboratories, had a range of supplements and OTC products.  We even had a Medical Nutrition unit where I got some training on Disease Specific Nutrition, as well as Paediatric Nutrition. I worked for few other MNCs and learnt a lot from them as well.

My first nutrition book

Reading makes a man broad but writing makes him precise. So before I ventured out to do consulting work for Direct Selling companies and supplement companies, I endeavored to write a book on Nutrition, Vitamins, Supplements and alternative medicine to educate myself.  It took me twelve (12) months to gather and read through whatever literature I can get my hands on; and six (6) months to write the book. I worked on it after work every night. The book was entitled “Staying Healthy, Staying Vital.” It had one hundred and sixty (160) pages.  The book was eventually launched and on the shelf for sale in 2004 under Oak Publication.

For every page I write, I have probably read five to ten pages. Each book I write, I educate myself in the process. This first book was to me akin to doing a masters degree in nutrition, vitamins & supplements. But it was all self-learnt.

I went on to write and publish other health books like Age Without Getting Old; Healing from the Beehive; Why Some People Don’t Get Sick; Secrets of the Rich & Famous – Live Cell Therapy; Battle Plan Against Cardiovascular Disease & Is Your Child A Fussy Eater?, etc….

Gospel Writing

In 2000 I joined Renewal Lutheran Church. For three (3) years I spent all my nights after work reading the Bible, Christian books or attending courses/seminars in the church. Phillip Yancey and Watchman Nee were my favourite authors. It was like Apostle Paul’s three (3) years in Arabia (Galatians 1:17). It was time of reflection, study, and preparation for future ministry, and to dwell deeper into the things of God.

I was also asked to be a writer to cover talks given by visiting speakers for the church magazine. From there, I developed a love and passion to write about God and His love. We took turn to write but eventually most of the write-ups were by me as many writers failed to deliver.

I went on to write two (2) Christian books with Senior Pastor Joshua Yee giving the foreword – A Little Deeper; and Refresh-Psalms for 21st Century Living.  I didn’t attend an official bible school, but I taught myself how to write gospel. Again it was self-learnt over many years.

Now I continue to write 2 more gospel books – 12 years in the prison and Refresh-Psalms for Business Victory. These two (2) books are my testimony and in the future when I get invited to speak in churches, I will bring them along and the sales proceeds will go to the church that I speak and share my testimony that day.

Earlier days my gospel writing was theoretical; while it is now more experiential. I have evolved.

Health Courses Training Manuals

I was out of the health industry for over ten (10) years, but end of 2022 I was asked to come out with courses for UTMSpace endorsed by MTPN, MPPN and World Consumers Association. It took me about three (3) to four (4) months to write Module (1) “Disease Specific Nutrition”, then another nine (9) months to write Module (2) “Regenerative Medicine & Stem Cell Therapy” which I think already needs a revised version given the rate of technological advancement in Longevity Sciences and Life Sciences and my continual learning.  

My Regenerative Medicine and Wellness is all self-learnt coupled with practical experience I am learning from various clinics and laboratories. Of course I am always learning and just ordered a book “Genomics, Proteomics, and Metabolomics: Stem Cells Monitoring in Regenerative Medicine” costing me RM1,171.40.

I have completed Module (3) “Understanding Nutrition & Supplements, and now researching on Module (4) “Aesthetics for layman.” To write Module (4) I am personally paying to try these treatments myself and collecting brochures and reading books on the topics. Nothing comes easy.

God has since open doors to be partner in a Regenerative medicine clinic, lecturing in UTMSpace and be a trainer for established stem cell companies. If I was not disciplined to sit down to write the Modules (while educating myself in the process), I would not be prepared for these openings. I looked back and feel a sense of vindication for obediently following all these small leads from the Lord.

God is my shepherd who leads me, guides me and trains me for what is ahead. I have never formally been to a Bible school or been a trained registrar for Regenerative Medicine in a hospital setting, but through Christ I can do all things (Philippians 4:13). All I need is to surrender to Him as He knows what is best for me. 

# posted by Eleventh Hour @ 9:17 PM 0 comments

After being home for over a month and being in New Zealand for 9 days, I need to return to Shanghai to work. Home sickness is already creeping into my soul. I do feel lonely in the hotel room there every night. By nature I am not outgoing and stay at home most of the time. At home I have my parents around and my friends nearby.

We are all a creature of habits and me in particular likes stability, familiarity, settlement and not a life of uncertainty. It takes a toll on my mental peace when I am not settled in my work or relationship. 

This time last year I was still dating someone and I had wanted to build  a life and the businesses together with her. I can’t do it alone, not emotionally. Yes I had dated before but it was the first time I truly loved someone, and to love God’s way. But it wasn’t meant to be as our times together were short-lived. When I bought a condominium unit in KL last year, I even told her we won’t live just in Malaysia, but also in China and other cities as we will buy our own residences. I always knew that God will enlarge my tent, and  extend my market reach globally. 

“And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone” (Genesis 2:18).  For now I just have to believe that the Lord will surely send someone who will be with me and whom I can love and be faithful to.  

Change always bring discomfort. But change is necessary if I want to be the man God wants me to be, and to reach the reach the full potential He has for me. Yet following His will does not mean I know where I will end up. It’s a walk of faith and knowing He has plans to prosper me and not to harm me.

I resonate with these words of Thomas Merton below. The predictable has temporarily been replaced with the uncertain. I’ve been forced out of my comfort zone in Malaysia into the groan zone where I am forced to figure out how to adapt and live in a new environment and work place.

MY LORD GOD, I have no idea where I am going. 
I do not see the road ahead of me. 
I cannot know for certain where it will end. 
Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think that I am 
following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. 
But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. 
And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. 
I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. 
And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road 
though I know nothing about it. 
Therefore will I trust you always though I may seem 
to be lost and in the shadow of death. 
I will not fear, for you are ever with me, 
and you will never leave me to face my perils alone. 
— Thomas Merton (Thoughts in Solitude)

I cannot allow adversity to derail me from the purpose God has for me or distract me from helping the people He wants us to serve. Let’s grow through the struggle, the fears, the uncertainties, and not shrink back because of the struggle, the pain and the hurts. 

I am sure years later, I will look back at what I wrote today; when my life is settled, when my life is certain and with the love of my life. I will look back at my feelings today and be proud of my persistence and perseverance. God will see me through!

# posted by Eleventh Hour @ 10:14 PM 0 comments

This is my third year in a row at Ironman New Zealand.  In 2023, I registered for the full Ironman race. I had swam in races held in lakes before particularly the Putrajaya Lake multiple times. In 2023 we arrived in Taupo on March 1^st.  March 2^nd was the very first time I tried swimming in a cold lake. I could barely swim 300 meters in that freezing water.  March 3^rd morning I managed to swim about 800 meters. March 4^th was race day and the swim distance was 3.8km and from the top we can see the entire course. It was daunting.

The coldness of the water and plus the water was heavy and less buoyant compared to sea water. Swimming is my weakest discipline in triathlon, with cycling being my strongest.

First year

On the eve of the Ironman race, I was fearful of the lake swim. I couldn’t sleep. I was calling friends, family, my coach and my pastor to allay my fears. To me my fears were very real. I was contemplating not even starting the race.  I was in panic mode. My coach said just take one stroke at a time and I will be fine as I have done the training. Pastor Charles said that I can do it. 

By faith I dragged myself to the starting line and swam the 3.8km cold swim in 1 hour 49 mins (my slowest Ironman swim) and made the 2 hour 20 cut off.  I kept chanting in my head that “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:13).  

Fear paralyses us. It stops us from reaching our goals and destiny. Fear magnifies the size of our obstacles. As fear gets a firm grip on us, we become its victim. Fear has a way of overtaking us and making such an impact on our lives that we feel there’s nothing we can do anything about it. But God says I did not give you a spirit of fear, but of  power, love and self-control” (2 Timothy 2:17).  God says fear not for I am with you (Isaiah 41:10).

Often the obstacle causing the fear is magnified by our minds. It is how much you allow your mind to limit or amplify the cause of fear.  And often than not, our feeling paralyzed is not a result of any real, tangible danger but of our internal fears causing us mental and emotional pain and distress.

Second year

2024 we went back to Taupo. I signed up for the half Ironman. Feb 29 and March 1^st we tested the waters again. The water was very calm. Come race day on March 2^nd the water current were about 1 meter tall. It struck fear into all of us. The water was anything but calm.  I told myself I can do it as God is with me. I got through the 1.9km swim in 57 minutes and drank more water during the swim than I did on the bike. Some athletes didn’t even make it to the first turning buoy and were fished out by boats out of the water.  The water was really rough. 

Third year

I signed up for the half Ironman again. This year I had problems with my bike so the last minute I packed my spare bike. On the test swim on Feb 27 my goggles was leaking so I didn’t even swim 20 meters. Plus my wetsuit had tears and holes. So in the afternoon I went to the expo and bought new goggles and wetsuit. Feb 28 I tried the new goggles and swam 1km.  On race day March 1^st I got through the swim in 54 minutes. I have conquered my fear of swimming Lake Taupo. Whatever the conditions I know I can managed a swim here.

What I learnt

What I have learnt is that things in life never unfold the way you expect. There are often  unexpected twist and turns. We live in a world where things go wrong. The key is to stay calm and don’t panic. I now have learnt to not fear the unexpected as God has gone ahead of me to prepare the way – be it in a race, life or business.  

Fear paralyzes, but faith mobilizes. Fear loses its power when we actively trust God more than what we fear.

# posted by Eleventh Hour @ 5:29 PM 0 comments

There was a period when I was distanced from the world, friends and associates for many years. I asked the Lord how come what was prophesied to me not only didn’t come through but life took a turn for the worst.  Every aspect of my life fell apart – finances, relationship and career.  I felt lost. I felt isolated.

There comes a time when God sets you apart because your heart is pure. People pulled away from me. Likewise God pulled me away from the world. It is not because I did something wrong but because God is doing something right. In a world full of deceit, when your heart is pure and your intentions are clean you don’t blend in but stand out. Sometimes standing out means standing alone. There are times I feel abandoned, alone and lost. 

Isolation isn’t rejection. It is preparation. God had to pull me away to reposition me. Sometimes a person you love had to leave because not everyone can be part of the new life God is about to bring, and not everyone can handle the weight of your calling.  Those that pulled away doesn’t mean you lack value, it’s because God says your value is too great to be mishandled. 

Purity is your power. When your heart is pure, God will protect it, prepare and elevate it for something greater. I am set apart as I am destined for more. God doesn’t assess you the way the world does. God sees your heart, the purity of your intentions and the kindness behind your actions. A pure heart when set apart by God can be a powerful heart. Some says my weakness is that I am too pure, too sincere, too honest and too real. The world may try to convince you that  purity is a weakness and if you are kind you are a gullible prey for every confident trickster. Nothing is stronger than a pure heart despite the pain it endured. My heart is pure, my spirit remains strong as my future is in God’s hands. One that keeps walking in purity will keep walking into His promises.

It take strength to be genuine in the current world. It take strength to be honest when dishonesty seems to get people ahead. It takes faith to walk in integrity when you have been betrayed. God notices everything. He sees what others overlook. He saw when you gave with no expectations in return. When you prayed for the very person who hurt you, He saw. 

The world rewards manipulation but God rewards those with integrity. The world celebrates loudness but God honours purity and gentle strength. But a pure heart doesn’t mean an easy life. You become the devil's No 1 target as the devil know a pure heart is a powerful weapon in God’s hand. It can break barriers, inspire others, bring people closer to God and transform lives.  Darkness always react to light. 

Precedent

When you have a calling in your life, your heart is pure and the purpose is great, He will set you apart. It’s not a punishment but preparation. It’s to protect you.

Moses received his calling not in the palace but in the wilderness. Jesus too was led into the wilderness. David wasn’t anointed in the palace but while he was tending sheep alone in the fields. Isolation is where God does His deepest work.

It is when He removes the noise of the world, the distractions, the counsel of well-meaning close ones (though well-meaning but doesn’t know God’s plan for your life), so you can hear His voice more clearly to ascertain the mission He has placed in your heart. What He wants you to do requires a different level of focus.

Isolation doesn’t feel good. It hurts and questions your worth, wondering why certain people pulled away and why certain doors are closed. God sees your pure heart and He knows my next level couldn’t involve everyone. Some people cannot handle your elevation, some may dilute my calling and some no matter how much I love them are not equipped to walk with me into the places God is leading me. 

A seed

Think of a seed. It grows when it is buried in the dark soil, hidden from the world. It is in the hidden place that the root grows deep, that the foundation becomes strong and the process of transformation begins. I was not buried, I was merely being planted. My dreams weren’t buried but being planted. When the roots are strong enough, you will breakthrough the soil and rise because of God’s preparation in you. 

The setbacks, afflictions and attacks confirms the anointing of God on me. The attacks aren’t serendipitous or random. The devil doesn’t waste time on people who aren’t a threat. He doesn’t attack empty vassals. He goes after the one that carries something powerful, who remains pure even when the world gives them a reason to be otherwise. The enemy sees your anointing even when others don’t recognise the favour of God on your life.

David was attacked (by Saul) even when he hasn’t been crowned King, but coz of where he is going. It is not what David, me and you have at this moment but the destiny we are attached to that scares the enemy. I may not have stepped into my full purpose but the devil sees God’s hand on my life and the doors He is about to open, the lives I am about to inspire and impact.

Every hurt, pain and betrayal is preparation. It sharpens our spirit and strengthens our faith. Elevation from God is not the way you expect. It  doesn’t come wrapped in applause and public accolades. Often the elevation begins in the most unexpected places, in my struggles, in the silence, in the season I was overlooked. God works privately; on our hearts, character and our faith. It is because He knows the weight of the blessing requires a solid foundation. He is not just preparing the opportunity but preparing you for the opportunities. When the times comes, everything will shift.

Stay ready always

God does not elevate the unprepared. Meanwhile He is watching you. Stay faithful and prayerful, keep working on your gifts even when no one is clapping. God blesses those who kept their hearts pure, their faith strong and kept moving even when the path wasn’t clear. I have always moved on despite the pain and the hurt.

When God elevates you it is not about me, me and me. It is not about yourself, your own benefits or status. It is about the impact. When God elevates you it’s so you can pull others up, so you can be a light in dark places, a voice to the voiceless and a vassal for His glory.  Your elevation isn’t about you but the purpose tied to your name. Without battles there can be no victory. Without a fight there is no VICTOR. May I inspire others to fight on even when the cards are down.

God rewards the pure in heart. Having a pure heart doesn’t means you are perfect. It means I am authentic, and that my intentions are aligned with God’s will. My actions are not driven by greed, jealousy, bitterness or pride; but by love, humility and faith.

Purity of heart is tested in seasons of pain. It is easy to be kind when people are kind to you. It is easy to keep a soft stance when life is treating you well. But the real test comes when you have been wronged, betrayed and when the love you gave wasn’t returned. 

Those who keep their hearts pure will not only see God, receive from Him but be overflowing in all areas of their lives. Meanwhile endure as God is not blind to your pain, nor is He deaf to your prayers. Your elevation is unavoidable. It is on the way.

Amen.

# posted by Eleventh Hour @ 7:42 PM 0 comments